Christmas Cookies

My sister, Victoria, and I decorated christmas cookies tonight! :) Nothing puts you in the christmas spirit like christmas cookies! 

FInal Exams

Is it possible to have one's whole mind and body on fast speed but then have his or her soul in another? My mind is constantly in future mode. Final exams are in a little over two weeks; which means final papers and projects are due this week and the next. My mind is trying to process all the future due date and group meetings, while also trying to plan my studying habits for my final exams. Because of the overflow of meetings and homework, my body is in constant rush; pushing it's way to the next work destination. Yet, among all the hustle and bustle, my heart is screaming at me to slooooooooow dooooown!

I find it funny, at times we freak out about meeting a due date or a final paper-when in the whole realm of it- within a few weeks we forget what we were stressing out about and find something else to obsess over. 

So is the freaking out and the sprint to finish worth it? Is it even possible to slow down? Is it possible for my whole being be at the same slow pase? Or is life full of freak outs and due dates to test us? 

James 1:2-4
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

Random #9

"My Wish"

I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,

But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.

But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.

This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big

random #8

Matthew 6:34

"Therefore, do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own" Matthew 6:34 

Music helps focus

As I venture into a new week, I take the time to organize my life. I enjoy looking at everything I have to do next week and looking at the open time I have to fill with homework and friends :) During this time I listen to music. Today picks? a variety of Christian hits. Music like this brings my focus back to God and away from the overwhelming events to come in the next week.  Among the words of praise in the music, I am able to draw my focus back to God. So as I plan my next weeks schedule, I remember to focus my events around God. To make time for Him. To do everything in His name. To SHINE His light.

Some tunes I'm listening to now are:

Something Beautiful by Needtobreathe

You'll Come by Hillsong

For The Moments I feel Faint  by Relient K

Random #7

Random #6

My vanilla latte. mmm mmm good. 

God's Word

"Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything but in everything, by prayer and petition with thanksgiving, present your request to God. And the peace of God,which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus" Philippians 4:4-7

Faith Prevails

Life is crazy. So much can pile up. Academic. Friendships. Responsibilities. Personal Goals. Then, as these issues continue to build, the wind comes. The wind, the BIG climax, pushes everything around. The climax can turn your all-ready-crazy-life into a tornado. 

A tornado, a violent destructive storm of events, occurred in my life. (Which is why I haven't blog in a while).  Issues were piling up and then the wind came. All my problems were being twisted together to create one big violent outburst.... or more of an "in-burst". I shut the world out. I closed myself in. To organize myself. To focus on myself. I did not talk to my friends or family about all the problems I was facing. I did not seek help. I soaked up everything that was occurring in my life and embraced in. Made a game plan and then went with it. 

Among my violent tornado of problems, faith prevailed. God SHINED during the storm. He was more vivid in my life then He has been for years. I could see His work being done. My roommate, one who is searching for God, came to me with a thirst for Christ. She is hungry for the word of God and has asked to join the Bible study I am in. She comes to me with questions and has sparked in interest in Church. Colin, my rock, kept me grounded in my values and made it aware that God is here for me. Always. Colin had shined God's light through his encouragement. 

Most of all, during my time of withdrawal, God comforted me. He lit a light of hope and strength to caring on. Among the times that I struggle the most, the moments of the storms, God prevails. ALWAYS!

You say let it go, You say let it go

You say life is waiting for the one's who lose control

You say you will be, everything I need

You say if I lose my life it's then I'll find my sould

-Let it Go, Tenth Avenue North

Random #5

Random #4

To-do List Chaos

It has been almost a month since I last posted. Where has time gone? Since it has been a month, I should have a lot of exciting accomplishments to talk about. Unfortunately, my to-do list has little to no tasks completed. In fact, I have been adding more on my to-do list than I have been crossing out. I have so much on my mind; so many things I want to get done. To accomplish. To cross off my to-do list.   

Being an R.A. has a lot more responsibility than I thought. I love it, but finding a way to balance the responsibilities among my academics, friends, and personal goals, is hard. Because of everything I need to get done, I find it difficult to carry everything. I feel like I am drowning in my responsibilities; my to-do list. I am gasping for breath; gasping for a time when I can relax and slow down. Enjoy life. I want to take a huge sigh of relief, but can't because I have a million things hanging over my head. 

During R.A. training, the Dean of our school presented us with a speech. His speech emphasized that everyday, every person, every event, and every opportunity, is a gift..... At times we see our everyday "gifts"as curses. I see my to-do list as more of a curse than a gift, but after referring back to the Dean's and God's words, I have found some peace. 

To be completely honest, I am feeling lost. I am WAY overwhelmed with everything that I am trying to balance. I flipped open my Bible and came across this verse. It puts me to ease and made me think of the Dean's words. I should embace everyday, every person, every event, and every opportunity, as a gift. 

"Surely this is our God; we trusted in him, and he saved us. this is the LORD, we trusted in him; let us rejoice and be glad in his salvation" Isaiah 25:9

Here are some pictures that will help update you on my past month. These moments and people have been my inspiration, motivation, and support through my responsibilities; my to-do list chaos.

Colin.

Eva.

Anna.  Paint-a-Pot. 

Kevin.Grooving at the Grove. Worship night.

All the lovely R.A.s in Dykstra Hall. 

Victoria. 

Cainnear. My beautiful roommate.

Random #3

Sidetracked

I always seem to be unfocused. I try to center my life.  I try to focus it on what I find most important. God. But for some reason, I always seem to become sidetracked. I say; "I want God to be the center of my life", but then I become distant from Him. Although He is always with me, I do not make Him my main focus. I tend to get "caught-up" with daily life. I get tangled within what society has planned for me and lose focus on what is truly important. God should always be the focus of my actions. Lately, the pressure to fit in with society has overcome me. My actions try to stay in-sync with what the media and my peers are doing. The influence of society and my peers should not drive me away from my main focus-God.  The influence God has on my life, should drive me away from some of the actions of society and my peers. I need to have God be my center, so that I am able to wipe away anything that would be a distraction.

....

Ha, and while I re-read this post, I can see how disorganized and unfocused I really am.....

God needs to be the center of my life.
I want to live my life for HIM, not for myself.
I pray that I do not become sidetracked, from God, so easily.

"Praise our God, O people, let the sound of his praise be heard; he has preserved our lives and kept our feet from slipping. For you, O God, tested us; you refined us like silver" Psalm 66:8-10

Random #2

Audrey Hepburn, Google Images 

Now. Today.

I've always been a futuristic thinker. Some may think futuristic thinking is good. I see it as a crutch. As a futuristic thinker, I am always trying to plan my next step of life. Throughout my life, my thought process has been like this:
"Once I can wear make-up, then I will be pretty"
"When I get a car, then I will be cool"
"Once I graduate from high school, then my fun life will pick up"
"After I whiten my teeth and lose weight, then I will have more self confidence"
I have discovered that none of my thoughts stand correctly. I was hoping the future would some how push all my problems away; that my life was going to swap all the bad for good. I believed that my life was not going to truly start until I became prettier or smarter or thinner or nicer or older.
Then I read Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. Within the first chapter,  I realized that my life starts now. Today. I can not think futuristically all the time. I am living my life now. Every moment counts. What to do with it is all up to me. So I should not be waiting for my life to begin. I should be living my life now; living every moment with worth. value.
Shauna Niequist explains it best when she states,
 "Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you've been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you're having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted. Your life right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. because they all are. Every life is. You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural. You are more than dust and bones. You are spirit and power and image of God. And you have been given Today" (Cold Tangerines, Shauna Niequist).

Restored Faith

I felt lost. Everything-and I mean EVERYTHING- seemed to be shaky. I am scared that the plans I have for myself are not the actions that should be taken. Scared to choose the wrong path.  I am questioning everything. Thinking futuristically. Thinking of where I want to be in the future and questioning if I am on the right path to get there.
Luckily I had a beach day with Eva. It was a great time for me to let all my feelings out. I love talking to my best friend. She always knows how to clam me and gives me words of wisdom. We concluded that: 1) I am always thinking about the future and 2) I can not stand not knowing my future.  Although I was able to make those two points clear, the rest of my life still seemed to be a big question mark. I was still concerned about choosing the right path in life but was calmed by the great day at the beach with Eva.
Coming home, I could not find my house key. I was carrying a big bag, so it was hard for me to find the single key. In fact, I ended up dumping my whole bag on my front porch, hoping to find the key. As I was sifting through all the miscellaneous objects in my purse, my fingers ran across a ring. I pulled on the ring-which was embedded within one of the pockets-and pulled out my necklace. My necklace that I have been searching a month for. I had almost given up hope. This necklace means so much to me. It had been my grandmother's. Finding it has restored my hope. Finding the necklace reminded me of the importance of faith.

Eva :) 

Everything happens for a reason. God will never leave you. or me. He knows my future and I have to have faith that he will place me where I am to be. God has a plan for me and for you. When I believe all hope is lost, or I question my life's direction, I will have faith. Faith to restore what I have lost. Faith to accept the unknown future. I will trust in God. With all my heart.

Strong Waves

Last night Colin and I went to the beach. The main reason for us going was for me to meet his cousins. But we were also there to enjoy the good weather, huge waves, and each others company. After spending a couple hours with his family, we put on our suits and headed towards the water. Although it was late at night and the warm sun was done heating the water for the day, we were still very excited to go swimming.  At first the water was cold. Since the sun went down, I was expecting to become colder as we continued to swim. But as we rode and drove into the waves, the water became warmer. We'd stand and the strong waves would knock us off our feet. I LOVE the power of the waves. How they can knock you down or drag you from one direction to the next. Although at times I had no control over my body, as it was being thrown around by the waves, I felt strong. I wanted to keep pushing forward. To break the waves. To defeat them.
I relate to this feeling in other situations other than the waves of the water. There have been numerous events that I have been hesitant of. Situation that I thought would get worst, colder, as time went on; only to find out later, with time, it gets better.
The situations when I am knocked down, knocked off my feet, because of a stronger power I should feel discouraged. But those occurrences that knock me down only motivate me more to pick myself up and keep pushing.
To beak the struggle or waves.
To defeat them.

Eva

Eva is my best friend. Words can not describe the worth of our friendship. I have tried to write this blog over and over and over. Trying to find the right words that give her justice. Words that would match up to her inner and outer beauty. Unfortunately, I lack the knowledge of words big enough, strong enough, perfect enough, to describe Eva. So-like the cliché phrase- a picture is worth a thousands words, I hope that some of the pictures of eva and me will help you fathom how much she means to me. Without her, I would not be who I am today. She is, and will always be, my best friend. Eva. 

hockey game

Disney 

Girl's Night

Band Camp

Band Camp

Powder Puff

Homecoming 2010

Marching Band

.....Marching Band

Homecoming 2010

Senior Retreat

Michigan Football Game

My Birthday 2009

Eva visits me at college

2006

Night at the 50 yrd line 2008

2009 Lax Game

My Birthday 2011

Graduation 

love.

Summer 2010

Traverse City

Chicago 2010

I Love you Eva!

Love.
Jessica.

Change is constant

The sermon today at church was about ways people can stay strong through change. With the help of wise friends or family you can overcome change. With the help of God you can overcome change. 

I am always going through changes. In fact, EVERYONE is always going through changes. Change is constant. Whether you change the color of your hair or the country you live in, we are all under constant change. We change schools, friends, hobbies, churches, jobs, houses, styles, interests, etc. I sometimes get overwhelmed with change. I get comfortable with my life the way it is; and then when something different happens I get scared and frustrated and mad and sad and confused. 

The future has been on my mind lately. More specifically, declaring a major/minor has been on my mind. I am almost 100% sure that I will major in communications, but my minor is unclear. Since high school I have been certain that I was going to minor in spanish. Spanish was always going to be my minor. But now I am thinking of changing my minor to business. My mind has always been set on Spanish but now something has changed. Maybe business is my calling. Maybe not. There is change and I am scared. It is unclear what I should do and I am confused. 

Change is constant. I know that I am not know what to minor in right now, but I know that I can lean on God. Because of the constant change in my past, I know I can rely on God to have me be where I am suppose to be and do what I am suppose to do. 

Love.
Jessica. 

"Stand at the crossroads and look; ask for the ancient paths, ask where the good way is, and walk in it and you will find rest for your soul" Jeremiah 6:16  

AND

Happy Father's Day!!!!!! 

Knowledge is Power.

I have been trying to eat healthier. Who isn't, right? I am learning about what is good to eat and what is bad to eat. "Eat this and not that". Although I am becoming more aware of what I should and should not be eating, my diet has not changed. But knowledge is power. So I am hoping the more I learn, the more likely I can put healthier choices into my daily eating habits.
I stumbled upon this great website that showed the 20 healthiest foods that you could find for under one dollar! I was ecstatic to see coffee on there. (which is what I am drinking right now!) I was also happy to see that a lot of the food, on the list, are food I already enjoy. Which then surprised me. I am not that far away from my goal. Sure, I could eat less of the delicious ice cream, but my goal of eating healthy is not that far off. My goal may not be accomplished today, but learning more about healthy foods is a good start. Knowledge is power and finding out that some of the healthier foods are foods I already eat, was an encouragement. I re-evaluated my goal and am pleased with where I am at. Becoming more aware of what I should and should not eat helps me continue to strive for a healthier diet. If you are in the same boat as me, check out this website.

http://www.divinecaroline.com/22177/52070-twenty-healthiest-foods-1

Love.
Jessica.

Parachute. Melted heart.

The afternoon rain was NOT going to stop a great night from happening. Tonight Colin and I went to go see our favorite band, Parachute. Gosh they are AMAZING. Their songs/lyrics. Their instrumentals. Their voices. Their connection with the audience. Everything about them is why I call them my favorite. I would say they are a "heart throbber" but I have no heart to throb. My heart literally melts every time I see them. I can not pin point a reason as to why they blow every other band out of the water. There is something about  Will, Kit, Alex, Nate, and Johnny (the fine men of the band) that reach out to me. That I connect with. Something that makes my heart melt.
I am sure that there is something in everyone's life that makes their hearts melt. It could be that classic book or movie. Or mother's home made birthday cake. Or the hot guy at the coffee shop. Whatever may melt your heart, may you also find reflection in it. May you look that heart melting person, event or thing and see happiness. joy. warmth. hope.
Parachute gives me that feeling of pure joy. I find music very "moving". Music can be inspiring, loving, sad, motivational, etc. That is why I find music, such as Parachute, so great.

Thank you Colin for such a fantastic night. You are my true heart throbber.
Thank you Parachute for an AMAZING show. I can not wait to see you in Muskegon, MI

Love.
Jessica.

Here are some videos/picture Colin took tonight.

Highness

I have been OBSESSED with Boyce Avenue these past couple of days. Whenever I was not working or hanging with the people I love, I was on youtube; watching and listening to the beautiful music of Boyce Avenue. As I was watching all of the videos on youtube, I got a spark of "highness". You may think you have no idea what I am talking about, but I am sure that you have felt it. I am sure you have felt that bust of life. A "high" on life. A feeling of content. happiness. excitement. love. A feeling you never want to live without. I generally get this feeling after mission trips or a retreat. After I get focused and comfortable with the person I am. I get recharged. Almost as if my life is completely organized and clear and clean and .... perfect.
Now, I know my life is NOT perfect. In fact, it is far from perfect. But I was either inspired by the great music or God is sending me a sign that recharged me. It gave me the spark of "highness". I know my high on life will not last forever. Actually, I would not be surprised if I wake up tomorrow and the high is gone. But, at this moment, my heart has skipped a beat and is beating to the perfect rhythm of life.

Thank you Boyce Avenue and God for igniting my spark of "highness". May this high never leave. And may this feeling motivate me to push towards what I am to do with my life. May this feeling push me to be the best I can be.

Love.
Jess

Random #1

So Good!!!!

spontaneous

I am going to ignore the downfall of my day because when it all comes down to it, it is really "no big deal". And I have been told to go to bed happy and I'll have a better nights rest. Since I want to sleep well tonight, I will stray from my conflict of the day and share something more positive. So aside from my frustrations, today was exciting. spontaneous. I LOVE to be surprised. Colin picked me up this morning and brought me to the park. We played catch; which is probably one of my favorite things to do. no lie. and then he brought out a blanket and a cooler. He had packed us a picnic lunch! It wasn't that I was extremely hungry or that we had just played one of my favorite games, that made me so excited and happy. It was the surprise of it all. It was the date-like structure and unknowing event that made me smile ear to ear. Although it was blazing hot, I still enjoyed my time with Colin. His random act made my day. 

Little signs of spontaneous acts are great! They keep you on your toes while also letting your heart soar with excitement.

Love.

Jessica

Colin.