Now. Today.

I've always been a futuristic thinker. Some may think futuristic thinking is good. I see it as a crutch. As a futuristic thinker, I am always trying to plan my next step of life. Throughout my life, my thought process has been like this:
"Once I can wear make-up, then I will be pretty"
"When I get a car, then I will be cool"
"Once I graduate from high school, then my fun life will pick up"
"After I whiten my teeth and lose weight, then I will have more self confidence"
I have discovered that none of my thoughts stand correctly. I was hoping the future would some how push all my problems away; that my life was going to swap all the bad for good. I believed that my life was not going to truly start until I became prettier or smarter or thinner or nicer or older.
Then I read Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist. Within the first chapter,  I realized that my life starts now. Today. I can not think futuristically all the time. I am living my life now. Every moment counts. What to do with it is all up to me. So I should not be waiting for my life to begin. I should be living my life now; living every moment with worth. value.
Shauna Niequist explains it best when she states,
 "Today is your big moment. Moments, really. The life you've been waiting for is happening all around you. The scene unfolding right outside your window is worth more than the most beautiful painting, and the crackers and peanut butter that you're having for lunch on the coffee table are as profound, in their own way, as the Last Supper. This is it. This is life in all its glory, swirling and unfolding around us, disguised as pedantic, pedestrian non-events. But pull off the mask and you will find your life, waiting to be made, chosen, woven, crafted. Your life right now, today, is exploding with energy and power and detail and dimension, better than the best movie you have ever seen. You and your family and your friends and your house and your dinner table and your garage have all the makings of a life of epic proportions, a story for the ages. because they all are. Every life is. You have stories worth telling, memories worth remembering, dreams worth working toward, a body worth feeding, a soul worth tending, and beyond that, the God of the universe dwells within you, the true culmination of super and natural. You are more than dust and bones. You are spirit and power and image of God. And you have been given Today" (Cold Tangerines, Shauna Niequist).